


Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by TB80



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, F/F, These two need to chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TB80/pseuds/TB80
Summary: How the reunion at The Rabbit Hole could have gone after Delphine's return from Geneva.





	Don't Ask, Don't Tell

**Author's Note:**

> Just another small head cannon/drabble about one of the many conversations these two need to have at some point. Also a, likely vain, attempt to distract myself from starting a multi-chapter AU.

Cosima was exhausted.

All the events of the last few days blending together in a surrealistic blur. The dinner party, like some kind of madman's tea party. Being locked in a cage with the body of an innocent boy turned into a monster by a fanatic's zeal. Escaping, only to find the island in flames around her, and on the edge of revolt. Fleeing on a boat that, though she assured Charlotte would be safe, was in no way suited for the journey they would need to make.

Her body, though hopefully on the mend, was still easily fatigued. Sleep should have been the easiest thing in the world. Yet instead of the sleep her body so desperately needed, Cosima was left staring at the ceiling. Her mind restless.

There was still no word from Delphine.

She had left the island a full day before Cosima. Siobhan had spoken with Felix and confirmed that Delphine had arrived safely in Geneva. She had conducted whatever mysterious business she had with Felix and Adele quickly before departing. According to Siobhan everything had gone according to plan.

No one had heard from her since.

They couldn't call her, because, of course, phones had been deemed too dangerous. If Delphine was found to be in contact with them it would put her at great risk. Any time Delphine had needed to make contact with Siobhan she had done so in person. Cosima could appreciate the need for security, but at the moment she all she wanted was to confirm that the blonde doctor was okay. That she was safe.

Cosima rolled over onto her side, clutching her spare pillow tight to her chest. Closing her eyes, she tried to slow her breathing. To let her mind drift. Delphine's face, brows pinched with worry, eyes impossibly soft, swam immediately into focus.

Cosima sighed.

Delphine had to be okay. After all the shit they had been through, complete with two near death experiences, it was unacceptable to consider that it could end this way. Cosima had only just found her again, and she refused to let her go again so soon. They weren't done. Not by a long shot.

Maybe it was the exhaustion finally catching up with her, or maybe it was her feeble attempt at meditation, but Cosima's mind slowly wound down, and sleep was just starting to claim her when a faint knocking jarred her to full wakefulness. Cosima rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow, and let out a frustrated cry. She wanted to tell Scott to fuck off, but she knew he wouldn't be disturbing her unless there was a very good reason. She tried to keep her hope in check that maybe it was an update about Delphine. For that, she would happily forgo a few hours of restless sleep.

Pushing herself up on her arms, Cosima flopped over onto her back. "It's safe to come in," Cosima yelled loudly, wanting to make sure she was heard through the closed door at the top of the stairs. "I'm decent," she added for good measure. Scott had come down one day to check on some of his cultures without knocking. While Cosima had been largely unconcerned about her relative state of undress, Scott had refused to enter the lab without first knocking ever since.

The lights in the outer lab flicked on and Cosima blinked, her eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. Any hope she had of ever falling to sleep tonight was now gone.

"That is disappointing to hear."

It took a moment longer than it should have for Cosima's sleep deprived brain to make sense of what she was hearing, but once she did, she sat straight up in bed. "Delphine?" she cried in happy disbelief.

There, standing just outside her sleeping area, looking even better than the visions that had been helping to lull Cosima to sleep, was Delphine. Scrambling off the bed, Cosima launched herself at the blonde. With a laugh, Delphine wrapped her arms around Cosima, letting her bag drop to the floor unnoticed.

Cosima burrowed her face into open neck of Delphine's coat. The fabric held the chill of the late Toronto spring, but Cosima didn't care. Delphine was here. Solid, and alive, and Cosima wouldn't have cared if she had been covered in mud from head to toe.

"You're really here." Cosima didn't know if it was just a statement of the obvious, or her effort to convince herself that she wasn't hallucinating.

Delphine rubbed her hands over Cosima's back, kissing her tenderly on the side of her head. "I just got in. Siobhan told me where I could find you. She didn't think you'd mind me crashing."

Cosima shook her head, tightening her arms. "Siobhan was right. How long do you have?" Cosima had grown used to the pattern. Delphine would appear, only to be whisked away to parts, and tasks, unknown far before Cosima was ready to say good-bye. Which, to be fair, would be never. Cosima had vowed to try to make her peace with it. Instead of regretting that they couldn't have more time, she would try to enjoy each moment for the precious gift that it was.

"As long as you want,  _chérie_ ," Delphine promised.

Cosima pulled back, needing to see Delphine's eyes. "You don't have to go back?"

Delphine shook her head before leaning down to kiss Cosima gently. " _Non_. I am finally free of them." Cosima could hear the weary relief in Delphine's voice. As exhausted as Cosima felt, Delphine had to be even more so. She had been trapped and on guard with those lunatics for months.

Cosima looked at Delphine tenderly, reaching up to brush the tangled mass of curls away from her face. Delphine's eyes fluttered closed, as though soaking in the gentle touch. "Let's get you out of this jacket then, so you can stay awhile."

Delphine nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "I do feel decidedly overdressed." She ran her hand down Cosima's back and down over the slope of her exposed buttock. "I thought you said you were decent? You let Scott see you like this?" Delphine asked with a slight smirk, cupping Cosima's right cheek and pulling her closer.

"Hey, poor guy has been locked down in this lab for months trying to help save my life. I felt like I needed to give him a thrill where I could." When Delphine looked at her, unimpressed, Cosima shrugged. "It's fun to watch him squirm."

Delphine shook her head. "So you repay him by torturing him?"

Cosima adopted an offended expression. "Seeing me half dressed is torture now?"

Delphine dipped her head, kissing the underside of Cosima's jaw. "When you can only look, but not touch? Absolutely." Delphine's voice held the surety of someone who had once been in that position.

Cosima reached up, pushing Delphine's coat off her shoulders. Delphine was content to let Cosima struggle to divest her of the bulky garment, still intent on exploring the soft skin on the brunette's neck. It wasn't the smoothest process, but Cosima was determined, if not a little bit distracted, and the coat was soon falling to the floor in a messy heap.

Neither woman cared.

Arms now free, Delphine hooked her hands under the curve of Cosima's ass, pulling her up off the ground and tight against her chest. Cosima sighed, looping her arms around Delphine's neck, now at eye level.

"Show off," Cosima accused, leaning forward to take advantage of her new found height.

"You love it," Delphine corrected, tightening her grip so as not to risk dumping Cosima onto the floor. Delphine wasn't wrong. Cosima had had a few boyfriends in high school, and in the first few years of college. Whenever they had attempted to grab and manhandle her, it had met a swift rebuke. With Delphine, however, she was more than happy to hang on and go along for the ride.

"Are we just going to stand here, or are you going to take me to bed?" Cosima asked, hooking her legs around the back of Delphine's thighs.

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be quite bossy?"

Cosima snorted. "Please. Have you met Alison? I'm the pushover in the group."

Delphine hummed her agreement, nibbling gently on Cosima's earlobe as she shuffled forward the few short steps to the bed. Delphine dropped her unceremoniously onto the bed and tumbled down on top of her.

"I think that move needs some work," Cosima teased, scooting backwards to rest against the pillows. Delphine remained near the bottom of the bed, looking up at Cosima through half lidded eyes.

"We will have plenty of time to practice it," Delphine assured her, running her hand lightly up the inside of Cosima's leg.

Cosima stretched out her hand. "Come up here." Delphine suddenly felt too far away, and Cosima needed her closer. She needed to feel her. All of her. Instead of obeying the request, Delphine lowered her head, placing a kiss on Cosima's calf.

The bed shifted, and Cosima realized that Delphine was kicking off her boots. Sitting up Cosima stripped off her t-shirt and sent it sailing towards the dresser on the far wall.

Delphine grinned at her eagerness and stood to start stripping off her own clothes. Cosima pulled back the covers and slid her legs underneath, leaning back against the pillows to enjoy the show.

"You know, when you started doing this in that yurt I thought for sure I was suffering near death hallucinations again."

Now down to her bra and panties, Delphine crawled up the bed slowly. Bracing her hands on either side of Cosima's hips she leaned forward, connecting their lips in a lingering kiss.

"You weren't the only one that thought she was seeing things. I had heard you were on the island, but I knew I couldn't see you." Delphine's eyes closed, as though in remembered pain. "Then you and Charlotte came stumbling into camp." Delphine reached up to cup Cosima's jaw. "You were so cold. You scared me."

"I scared myself," Cosima admitted. She flipped back the covers. "Why don't you join me in here, or you're going to be the one in danger of freezing to death." The basement always had a slight damp chill that Cosima was unable to dispel no matter how many heaters she turned on.

Delphine didn't need a second invitation. Cosima flinched when Delphine's ice cold feet slid down her legs. "Geez, I guess we're too late. You're freezing!"

Delphine snuggled into Cosima's side, her face buried in the crook of Cosima's neck, greedily soaking in her warmth. Cosima wrapped her arms tight around Delphine, her hands rubbing up and down Delphine's back.

"You owe me one," Delphine murmured, kissing her way up Cosima's neck.

"Never let it be said I don't repay my debts," Cosima mused, tilting her head to the side to give Delphine easier access. Delphine slide her hand up Cosima's stomach to cup her breast. Cosima sighed and arched her back, pushing into the contact. It had been far too long.

Cosima turned her head, capturing Delphine's mouth with hers. Delphine's tongue slid across her bottom lip and Cosima opened immediately, urging Delphine to deepen the contact. After more than a year of stolen, too brief kisses, and not knowing when, or if, they would see each other again, Cosima wanted to lose herself in the blonde.

Delphine seemed to share her desire, accepting the invitation and pressing forward. Cosima sucked on Delphine's tongue lightly, her groan mingling with Delphine's.

Delphine's hand shifted off her breast, and Cosima almost protested, until she felt it slide down to her hip. Instead of sliding under, Delphine pushed ineffectually at the band of her panties.

Delphine grunted in frustration and Cosima broke the kiss with a chuckle. "I recall you being much better with your hands, Dr. Cormier."

A faint blush stained Delphine's cheeks. "I'm a bit out of practice."

Cosima heard the thread of self-doubt, something that she hadn't heard from Delphine since shortly after Delphine had followed her to Toronto. Making a crack at Delphine's performance, no matter how hurt she had been by the other woman's betrayal, wasn't one of her prouder moments.

Cosima brushed her hand through Delphine's hair. "That makes two of us then." Cosima placed a kiss on the bridge of Delphine's nose, before bumping it gently with her own. "How about we lose the rest of these clothes. I don't think we'll be needing them."

Delphine nodded, and rolled to the side. The next few moments were a blur of thrashing blankets, but neither one was keen to leave the warm cocoon they had created for themselves. Finally, after Delphine had kicked her underwear off and out of the bed, she rolled back over, covering Cosima's body with her own.

Cosima sighed in contentment, running her fingers lightly up the center of Delphine's spine. "Much better." Delphine, always slender, was leaner than Cosima remembered.

"I'm not too heavy?"

Cosima shook her head. "You're perfect." Delphine's skin was hot against hers and Cosima revelled in the warmth. "I've missed this," Cosima confessed softly, looking up into Delphine's eyes.

Delphine looked at her intently for a few moments, before swiping her thumb over Cosima's lower lip, and leaning down to kiss her deeply. "Me too. I never thought we would get to do this again," Delphine murmured, resting her forehead against Cosima's.

"I knew we would," Cosima bluffed, running her hand comfortingly over Delphine's back. She preferred to forget about the horrible months when she didn't know what had happened to Delphine. Followed by the even more horrible months when she had thought she was dead. "Okay, maybe more hoped."

That hope, that she would see Delphine again, had kept her going more than once when everything seemed impossible. If Delphine was out there somewhere, then Cosima vowed she would fight with every ounce of life she had left to make sure she saw her at least one more time.

"And now, here you are." Cosima leaned up, kissing the underside of Delphine's jaw.

"Here I am," Delphine agreed with a sigh.

"And you don't have anywhere you need to dash off to." Cosima kissed Delphine's collar bone. "And I'm not about to cough up a lung." Her shoulder. "Or on the verge of becoming a human popsicle." Her bicep.

"We are fortunate, indeed," Delphine agreed, grasping Cosima's chin and turning her face so she could reclaim her lips.

"Super lucky," Cosima mumbled against Delphine's mouth with a nod.

"Mmhmm," Delphine murmured, shifting her position slightly so she could place a kiss in the center of Cosima's chest.

"And I have a feeling I'm about to get luckier." Cosima wound her fingers though Delphine's hair. She had been a sucker for the curls since day one. And if they didn't have all quite same happy bounce, and looked a little more tired than they had, Cosima didn't care. They were all a little worn out, but they were here, and that's all that mattered.

It didn't take long for Cosima to realize she wouldn't be the one setting the pace tonight. Any attempt she made to urge Delphine along was met with gentle resistance. Delphine seemed determined to trace every square inch of her skin in a slow, painstaking exploration wither her lips, tongue and fingertips.

Cosima decided to lie back and enjoy the trip.

* * *

Cosima nestled her head on Delphine's shoulder, her entire body feeling delightfully exhausted. Her thumb brushed back and forth over the small knot of scar tissue on Delphine's abdomen.

"Does it hurt?" Cosima asked.

She felt Delphine's shoulder shift under her. "Sometimes. An occasional twinge." She placed a kiss on Cosima's forehead. "Mostly I forget it's there. It healed very quickly." Cosima nodded. Not sure she would be able to forget about it quite so easily.

Delphine's arm tightened around her back. "What about you? How have your lungs been?"

Cosima suppressed a groan, not really wanting to talk about her medical issues at the moment. However, she acknowledged that it was only fair, and she had been the one to open the door in the first place.

"Good. I still get the occasional coughing fit, but they are getting further and further apart. No more blood."

Delphine sighed in relief, her hand stroking over the crown of Cosima's head. "That's good. You'll tell me if anything changes." It wasn't a request, and Cosima barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yes, Dr. Cormier. You'll be the first to know." Her tone had a bit more bite than she intended.

"I'm sorry," Delphine sighed. "I don't mean to smother you. It's just...I worry."

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just sick and tired of everyone panicking every time I cough."

"They love you." Cosima wanted to ask if Delphine was still included in that group, but she resisted. They had been apart more than they had been together, and they were only now working their way back to each other. They still had so much to talk about. Cosima told herself it wouldn't kill her to be patient.

"And I love them, but it's still super annoying." Cosima placed a kiss on Delphine's shoulder. "Enough about me. Did everything go okay in Geneva?"

Delphine immediately stiffend. "Everything was fine."

Cosima frowned. "Fine? That's all you're going to give me?" Cosima tried to keep her tone light, but she wasn't sure she was entirely successful.

"You know I can't tell you anything more than that." Delphine sounded annoyed. Cosima pulled back, propping herself up on one arm to look down at the blonde.

"What do you mean you can't tell me anything more than that? I thought you said you weren't going back to the island. That you were done." Cosima could feel herself getting agitated.

Delphine pushed herself up onto her elbows, frowning at Cosima. "I am done with the island," Delphine said.

"Then why can't you tell me about what you were doing in Geneva?" Cosima demanded.

"Because there are still things in play." Delphine looked at her in confusion. "We talked about this. You said you could accept things as they were."

Cosima threw up her hands in frustration. "Yeah! When we were trapped in a madman's personal playground with spies everywhere I agreed that you couldn't really tell me all the details of your plan. I didn't realize you planned to keep me in the dark forever."

"Not forever," Delphine protested. Delphine tried to rest her hand on Cosima's knee, but she jerked it out of the blonde's grasp. She took a petty sense of satisfaction seeing the hurt flash across her face at the rejection. See how Delphine liked being shut out.

"Then when?" Cosima demanded, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.

Delphine ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "When all this is done."

Cosima snorted. "I thought you said it was done. Make up your mind, Delphine."

"My involvement with the island, yes. But as to the rest of it…"

"The rest of it?"

"There are still things in motion, Cosima. Things I risk jeopardizing if I tell you."

"Right," Cosima snapped. "God forbid you actually trust me for a change."

"It is not about trust," Delphine protested, frustrated. "Though you are a fine one to talk about trust."

"Oh, you don't get to throw that back in my face," Cosima spat. "You weren't giving me any reasons to trust you back then."

Delphine looked at Cosima silently for a few moments, before shaking her head. "Maybe this was a mistake. I thought you understood, but clearly you do not."

Wounded, Cosima tightened her arms around herself. "Yeah, maybe it was," Cosima agreed, even as her heart insisted that she was wrong. Being with Delphine could never be a mistake. It was one of the only truly right things in her life.

Not wanting to see Delphine continue to gaze at her with that hurt expression, Cosima rolled onto her side, and pulled the covers up around her ears. Maybe in the morning, when their tempers had time to cool, they could have a more rational discussion.

Now, when both their emotions were running high, all they risked was saying something they couldn't take back. Cosima felt the bed move as Delphine shifted. A small gust of cold air alerted her to Delphine exiting the bed.

"The bathroom is in the far right corner," Cosima offered grudgingly. She may be annoyed, but she wasn't going to make Delphine stumble about looking for the facilities.

Delphine didn't answer, and Cosima wasn't really expecting her to. What she was expecting was the sound of Delphine padding across the lab. What she heard instead was the soft slide of pants being pulled on, followed by a zipper.

Rolling over, Cosima scowled at the sight of a now half dressed Delphine Cormier.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed?" Delphine posed it as a question, though there was no doubt about what she was doing.

"I can see that. Why are you getting dressed?" Cosima acknowledged that the lab could be a bit chilly, but getting fully dressed to make a bathroom run seemed like overkill. "If you need a robe, there should be one on that chair." She pointed vaguely to the corner of her room where a chair was mounded over with clothes. She was pretty sure there was a robe in there somewhere.

Delphine frowned, confused, arms crossed over her chest. It was then that Cosima noticed her bra had been put back on. "Are you fucking leaving?" she demanded, incredulously.

"It seemed like the most prudent course of action," Delphine replied stiffly.

"The most prudent course of- Jesus Christ, Delphine, you can't just run off every time we have a little disagreement." Just the thought of Delphine walking away again sent a icy tendril of dread winding through her chest.

"You said it was a mistake," Delphine gestured toward the bed, her voice cracking.

"Actually, you said it was a mistake, and I just agreed with you."

Delphine shook her head, rubbing her hands up her arms. Whether to comfort herself, or to ward of a chill, Cosima didn't know. "Do you think I don't want to tell you? Do you think I like keeping these secrets?" Delphine demanded.

"Then why can't you?" Cosima asked gently, her voice softening. As always seemed to happen, her anger was draining away in the face of Delphine's distress. She hated seeing the other woman upset. It was even worse when she was the cause of it.

Delphine's shoulders slumped in defeat. "We are so close to the end. So very close. The secrecy...it is necessary to keep everyone safe. To make sure that no one has any more information than they need. The more people that know, the more risk there is that the other side will be tipped off. That all of this will have been for nothing."

Cosima wanted to protest. To insist that surely her knowing wouldn't endanger anything. However, she recognized Siobhan's stamp all over Delphine's argument. The other woman was almost fanatical about keeping information on a need to know basis. And in Siobhan's opinion she was often the only person that needed to know.

"This can't have all been for nothing," Delphine continued. "Everything we've been through. Everything we've sacrificed. I won't let it be for nothing. Even if you hate me for it."

Cosima heard Delphine sniff quietly, and she had had enough. Throwing off the covers she jumped out of the bed and wrapped her arms around Delphine. Delphine's skin was already taking on the chill of the cool basement air.

"Hey, I don't hate you. I could never hate you," Cosima murmured. Delphine sagged her body against Cosima, her head dropping onto her shoulder. Cosima felt a tear drip down onto her shoulder, and she tightened her hold. "I was just pissed off because I thought the cloak and dagger was behind us."

"I want it to be," Delphine confessed. "I hate keeping things from you. All of this, everything I've done, I've done to keep you and your sisters safe. I hate that you still doubt me. I would never do anything to endanger you. I would die for you."

Cosima sighed, a wave of guilt threatening to swamp her. Delphine very nearly had died for her. "No one is going to be dying," Cosima protested. "I don't doubt you." Cosima heard Delphine make a soft sound of disbelief and she kissed her on the cheek. "I don't," Cosima insisted.

"I'm just tired, and stressed out, and I took that out on you, and I'm sorry." Cosima brought her hand up to cradle the back of Delphine's neck.

"As soon as it's over, I'll tell you anything you want to know. I'll tell you everything," Delphine promised.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Cosima replied. "I want to know everything that's happened to you over the last months. Until then, I guess we'll just have to keep up our whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy a little bit longer."

"Don't ask, don't tell?" Delphine asked, confused.

"Just a homophobic policy adopted by the US military. It's not important," Cosima said with a shake of her head. "It just means that I'll stop asking you questions I know you can't give me the answers to." Cosima pulled back, so she could cup Delphine's face in her hands. "I trust you."

Delphine leaned in, kissing Cosima gently. " _Je t'aime_."

A broad smile split Cosima's face. She had suspected, of course, but it was wonderful to finally hear those words from Delphine again. "I love you too." Cosima placed a kiss on Delphine's collar bone. "But as much as I love you, do you think we could move this conversation back to the bed? I'm freezing my ass off."

Delphine laughed, her hand sliding down to grasp the body part in question. "It does feel a bit chilled." The resulting shiver that raced up Cosima's spine was not entirely from the cold.

"By my count I think it's your turn to warm me up."

"Maybe we stop keeping score, and this time we can warm each other up."

"I can work with that."


End file.
